Without Learning to Examine Yourself Correctly, You Cannot Call It True Growth

Preface

One day while taking a shower, I suddenly started thinking: what has been my greatest gain in recent years? From professional and technical knowledge I thought of how I conduct myself in the world. After thinking it over, I felt that the greatest gain was probably that I had finally begun to learn how to examine myself.

Learn to Criticize Yourself

Criticizing others is no great skill, because we can always easily find other people's shortcomings. Even if they have truly done something perfectly and beyond reproach, we can still nitpick. Yet criticizing ourselves in turn is something not everyone can do. Recognizing one's own mistakes is already a difficult thing, let alone examining oneself correctly.

Zengzi said: "Zengzi said: I examine myself three times a day—Have I been unfaithful in planning for others? Have I been untrustworthy in associating with friends? Have I failed to practice what I have been taught?"

Although a thousand years have passed, the three points contained in this saying are still quite difficult to achieve today. Just "Have I failed to practice what I have been taught?" is something many students cannot do, not to mention "planning without loyalty, associating without trustworthiness."

Of course, true sages and gentlemen may not exist in this world (of course I very much hope that such transcendent sages do exist), because as we live in this world, we are constrained at every turn by worldly affairs. Never mind measuring up to the sages and gentlemen of old—even remaining true to one's original aspiration is a very difficult thing.

But if you yourself want to make an effort, there is still a lot you can do. At the very least, you should strive to do things that can satisfy yourself and do not harm others (the most comfortable relationship between people—mutual benefit is enough )

Mutual benefit is not putting interests above all else, and must not be confused with being mercenary. Humans are social animals. Although we are the most advanced animals, we are still animals after all, and we still retain our gregarious nature. Maintaining a comfortable distance, doing things that benefit both sides, without harming the other party's or one's own interests—that is the most perfect interpersonal relationship.